I Drew Not One But TWO!

So I met up with JaKk last weekend and she's been bugging me to update this goddam blog of mine. Told her that I've been drawing for the past couple of days and she was excited. I couldn't believe it too. 2 drawings within 2 days. That's amazing, really. Usually it'll take me a few months before I complete another piece.

So anyway, here is a rough sketch of a little China doll. I wanted to try something new but my scanner broke. Oh well, I tried it on photoshop but didn't have the results I originally wanted but it's alright. I'll take it as a practice.
Then I had to draw another artwork as a gift for a friend's birthday. I worked this piece in my home's computer but unfortunately, the screen was too bright and it screwed up my colour choice. I realised the big difference in the colours when I saw the artwork on my laptop. BAH! The colours look dull here :(
I tried a different approach for this piece. Normally, I'd outline everything with a dark colour and just put in the colours but this time, I chose a darker shade for each colour but left her green blouse without any outline. My lines look shitty. Guess I'll have to follow JaKk's advise.

" The best tool to master in Photoshop is the pen and erase tool!"

I Hate Me

I had a conversation with a friend today about relationships and the ups and downs of it. I gave her my 2 cents and told her the worst part about my relationship was me feeling bad about myself. In other words, insecurity.

It doesn't automatically relates to affair or anything like that but then again with the problem of insecurity could definitely lead me towards that direction. The direction of "If I don't look good, he's gonna start looking for someone else".

I've always been on the meaty side since I was a kid. Never nor have I ever been slim and slender. I've always been round. But it's not that bad really. I have the curves at the certain right places. Notice how I use the word of "certain". I try hard by keeping in shape by going for my capoeira (although not anymore) and hitting the gym. I dare say only for the past couple of months, I've been giving my all at the gym. As in 2-3 times a week and watch what I eat. Somehow, I hated the wait. The excruciating wait to see the results I desired.

I do feel better and I noticed my body is more toned but I wanted more. It doesn't help either when your bf compliments other girls that are gorgeous. Ok, they are celebrities but they are human too. Maybe they are not. But then again, it's their job to look good. They look so good and I feel shitty about myself.

But I have only myself to blame for feeling this way. I feel shitty for not having well-toned arms, abs, flawless skin and everything. My insecurities are so bad that I convinced myself that I look pretty all because of my make-up skills. I hate doing this to myself but I can't help it. I can't help but wanting to be something that I'm not.

Then my friend told me this.

I've been giving alot of thought about what you said about your insecurities and I just want you to know that you need not worry too much about it. I think you look good and you have a unique look. You shouldn't let things like this bother you so much.

As soon as she said this I knew deep down in me was smiling. I felt so silly. Why do I need to hear that from someone just to make myself feel better about myself. I've always lived my life carefree and could care what anyone think. And yet, I've dwell into the stereotyped beauty that the current society has set.

So I'm gonna keep enhancing what I've got and keep working at it. And if anyone has problems with it, they can suck on my unsaturated fats.

Fair-Weather Friend

She said, "John Gray, you're a fair-weather friend! As long as I'm sweet, loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as I'm not, you walk right out that door."

- John Gray -

Asshole.

What in the Cina?

I had a photoshoot for work today. No, not me in a photoshoot. I'm not modeling or anything; I just arranged a photoshoot for my work. I was suppose to create an ambiance for the photos with a Chinese New Year theme.

I thought of using some of the Chinese New Year decorations around my house and to my surprise; I found quite a number of useful stuff to use for the photoshoot. I had the fire crackers, the gold looking thingie; gold in a pot, big and little gold.

As I was done setting up for the photoshoot, my colleague asked me where did I get all those stuff. I replied "My house! I didn't know I have this many Cina stuff!".

Healthy Anger Management

There's no better way to release your anger when you're in the gym. Until you feel like hurling a big ass weight over every freakin shaved headed Chinese dude which kinda reminds you of that idiot.

Houston, we have a problem.

Frustrated? Hell Yeah!

There's nothing more frustrating than coming home after a hard day at work and having to skip gym for the 34th time since you've signed up, to find your brother hogging the tv, the laundry space, the dining table, the DVDs and many, many more stuff in my very own home, again.

But for fucks sake. If I am to be confined in my own room, at least give me the blardy courtesy to let me use the internet freely.

It's bad enough he fixed the land line directly from the modem to his laptop. It's also bad enough he downloads tonnes of stuff off the internet almost every freakin day. It doesn't help to know that he works from home and I only get a few measly hours to relax in my own room.

But having to refresh your goddamn page every 5 minutes is down right frustrating. Moron.

What Say You?

Say what you want to say but what I want to tell you is that

Your timing SUCKS!

As usual.